I was going to go on a lengthy tirade about how the U.S. education system is nothing more than an attempt for the state providing said education to receive federal funding, but I can't concentrate on anything else besides the wretched pain that my heart is experiencing.
I am literally pouring everything that could even be considered edible into my mouth so my stomach has something to process besides my own life organs.
Oh yes. All of those items listed have been shoveled down my gullet in the past three hours. I don't know which one of them caused the initial outbreak of lava to course up my esophagus, but I know that none of those items have helped to put an end to my suffering.
If you females think you have it rough by stretching your crotch for child deliverance, I suggest you take a walk in my shoes and experience what heart erosion truly feels like. I guarantee you'll be wishing you could have chosen labor over the grueling death my aorta is currently going through.
(I'm very aware as to how much trouble this picture will get me in.)
I seriously need an IV of Tums at all times to maintain a decent life.
Also, congratulations to our three winners. Your names escape me, but I believe they are featured somewhere in this update along with your likeness. Thanks for playing.
-ab
I'm really glad I'm the one giving birth. I could have been the doctor, but no. Go eat some more cheetos and think about what you've done.
ReplyDelete...I could be a doctor, too, you know.
How did you know I love making lists and preaching to people about how they fucked up. perfect!
ReplyDelete